The events that follow the death of a loved one are usually filled with empty words... In some weird way I found comfort in the empty words that trickled in my ear today, the repetitive words that had the best intentions behind them...
Today I found myself feeling as if I needed to do something, but I had no idea what it was I needed to do. So I spent most of today sleeping...
Usually, when somethings got to give I sleep and usually after I wake up I feel better. Today when I woke up I was exhausted. And all I could feel was nothing. Completely numbed by the denial I faced. The loss I faced.
I had brief moments of grief... It was when I allowed my mind to wander. The thought of never hearing her voice again, the idea that my children's memory of her will fade with time, the realization she will never see me be anything more than I am right now because she will be gone. This is the hard part and the selfish part of losing someone you care about. Today I am being completely selfish, and you know what... That's OK.
The best thing we can do to honor the memory of someone we loved is live our lives with stamina and never stop until we are dirt in the ground. I will continue to live a fulfilled life striving for impact and purpose. My purpose being in God's plan for my life. In doing this I pray that time will heal my wounds and living will honor the lives of those who've passed.
Today I found myself feeling as if I needed to do something, but I had no idea what it was I needed to do. So I spent most of today sleeping...
Usually, when somethings got to give I sleep and usually after I wake up I feel better. Today when I woke up I was exhausted. And all I could feel was nothing. Completely numbed by the denial I faced. The loss I faced.
I had brief moments of grief... It was when I allowed my mind to wander. The thought of never hearing her voice again, the idea that my children's memory of her will fade with time, the realization she will never see me be anything more than I am right now because she will be gone. This is the hard part and the selfish part of losing someone you care about. Today I am being completely selfish, and you know what... That's OK.
The best thing we can do to honor the memory of someone we loved is live our lives with stamina and never stop until we are dirt in the ground. I will continue to live a fulfilled life striving for impact and purpose. My purpose being in God's plan for my life. In doing this I pray that time will heal my wounds and living will honor the lives of those who've passed.
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