Diluted pain

I was reading an old entry I wrote in my live journal... Sometimes over time we forget why we made choices we made and we begin to miss people. Somehow the hurt they caused finds a way of becoming diluted... When I read the sort of hurt he has caused me and I remember how it really felt and think of who I was and hate it... It's a realistic reminder of what I left and what i never want to be again...

Tuesday, July 13th, 2004

Subject: Your actions care for no one at all. Time: 12:06 pm.

A loveless sort of affection you long for, and an even colder one you give. Wanting all you want and giving nothing in return. I made you dinner and baked you a cake, your favorite kind. I waited on the couch counting every minute down from the time you said you were going to be home to every minute after. Spending your time in leisure with pills and escapes. Dead to the pain. Life never meant much to you anyway. Vulnerability only means humility, you have made me the most humiliated person ever."