The Only Color She Paints is Red

To the dynamo of fillip,
Through gurgling gust,
By monstrous mayhem,
Thrusting pontificated rationale,
Mustering meaning through deadened pupils,
And over exposed flesh,
Stroking the ingenious of what remains.
Plunging towards purpose.
Driven by unfailing hope…
Unseen and fondled by sound,
Attached to solace,
Coupled in codependency,
Know your role!
Know your role!
Set forth by unwavering determination,
Self-deteriorating fluctuating intention,
Incarnated again and again.
Rehabilitated in each heartache
Made new by death,
Mentally anguished, distraught, sullen.
Morosely proceeding
Flapping at him at her at you and at me
Innovative mind, gone solo
Unstirred to action or feeling
Fleeting transitory trends
Sardonically shouting of "sissy" and "coward"
Amused by the self loathing
Displayed and broadcasted for countless
Forgeries, fallacies
It's all the same!
All the same!
Contemptuous she may
Exultant she might
Virtues vocally abused
Taunted by many, lost to many.

Each stroke has significance,
Krystle

The Only Thing That Met Me Halfway Was Disappointment.

Knowing how I felt, knowing the battle I face everyday to abide by your rules and appease you, must mean I love you in some sort of way.

Your idea of love is the sort of thing you do after a cheap date.

A hug here and a kiss there.

I could make it look right and feel right and manipulate it right.

I used to play you like a puppet.

I got tired of games though… Guess you could say I sort of got attached.

Playing on the same level was a lot harder, it meant I was giving over control… of at least part of my feelings.

I never liked being vulnerable. I don’t play humiliation that well either.

As soon as I gave in was just as soon as you took over.

You’re new sense of control was over powering to you.

Never having felt this way you took it for all it was worth and now I was playing the pitiful one.

It is always about some sort of game with you.

When the equation just meant the two of us things were a lot easier… I guess I got more involved when the equation got changed…
Our son came into this world.

My whole idea on relationships changed; My needs and wants, they were all modified.

Things were different then, they are different now.

As I grew, and I learned and accepted that myself was one thing that wouldn’t be first for a long time…

I became a mother.

The family concept shifted my needs. This process all started to happen for me.

I don’t think the process ever begun with you.

What you need is not what I need, I need things before that.

My needs involve this family and making this unit work, the duo of us has to work after the family part works.

The love of each other is ultimately the love of the family and when the family works we will work, everything can fall into place.
But you have things backwards.

You think you need to have this and that before you can act in the way your family needs you to act.

You put the needs of yourself before the needs of your children, your partner, and when things don’t work for you first you screw the needs of everyone else.

Loveless, how can anything be loving without you completely there…

I can’t trust you, I can’t count on you, I can’t feel safe by you.

Your actions are not fair to me… Imprisoned as I am by you and I don’t even get a thanks.

Everything is over looked, yet any little task you do has to be over appreciated or you’ll feel “shot down” and will do even less.
Well, try doing and doing and getting nothing and still doing!

You couldn’t handle it.

It wouldn’t work for you.

I make it work for me though, because I need it to work for you, for the kids, for our little unit.

Where am I, worrying about you after I made you dinner and baked you a cake? It’s your favorite kind of cake too.

Where are you? Drunk with people? Playing music, with other people?

You won’t even tell me everything!

You’re one paycheck away from broke, you have one kid here and one on the way.

Yet you have no cares, your actions care for no one…

Soothing Riddle Circulating Light

Slicing slitting slithering seethe

Raunchy roaring reeling wrath

Creeping crawling critical cat

Lusting Luscious Luminous Leech

wrote that like 5 or 6 years ago. Had to bring it back

Cemetery Dawns

Oh cemetery dawns, like crashing lushes

Fluttering lungs and crimson tides

Deadening air to the rising dew

Of seeping crevices through numbing mutters

Sloth and Slew

With fallacies forsaken

Ejecting dancing discos to the glacial tombs

Photo Credit Nigma Astralis "para umbra"

Incredible Existence

Sunsets have come and gone
Yet I still see your eyes if I close mine tightly enough
The gleaming smile they project escape into my chest
My lungs fill up with you and still, I just smile
I haven't met a conversation I liked better than yours
The passion had to end passionately, for us there was no other way
I had to be broken before I could let go and well…
You knew that about me
With a fingertip grip I knew this moment would come
We were of the night, making the greatest escape
Stimulating emotions in me that had been consistently dormant
Our story is just bitter sweet
Amazing in existence

Neverless tapered, astringent end

Nightingale

The possibility is what kills me

I can't let go alone and letting go together would devour me

I'm dying to be alive

Lying next to your warmth I can hear the soothing sound of your voice

Each time we're together I ease into you a little more

For the first time, I didn't dance around the questions

I try to live in that moment everyday

When I close my eyes I see your eyes

When my body hits the mattress I envision the nights spent together

And as we descend into the soft bed sheets,

Being directed by feeling and thought alone,

I wonder if this will be the last time I will be here with you this way again

The sliver of hope numbs me through my torture

Silent conversations with myself

You get me through all the yesterdays

We become electric in the darkness

I can't stop and you wont stop

We need to need this for the both of us

With everyone telling me what to do and no one to love me

I escape into the thought of you

A functioning sleepless void

Never knowing what might happen and never knowing when it will end

Oh Nightingale the morning crept up too soon

By Krystle Lynn

Dusty Old Heart

This was the second poem of mine to get published. I wrote this about an old love interest who I had kept in touch with over the years. Every once in a while I'll get a letter from him, it makes me happy to hear how well he is doing. He showed me what is was to be comfortable in your own skin. I will always be thankful to him for that and many other things unspoken of...

There I stand enthralled in your essence
Pasted in your timing
Allowing myself the unveiled caution of sensitivity
You left me with only a memory of your voice
Once strong and filling only now faint and vague
As the days go I picture your smile and every curve of your lip
Weeks leading into months and even years fade along
I only remember the feeling it once gave
I can hardly breathe, this smothering reality has taken it's toll
Letters a distant fluency
The feeling captivating heart covered in dust
Swept away by silence now

by Krystle Lynn

The Loneliest girl

I wrote this years ago... It is the first thing of mine to ever get published...

The loneliest girl

Impaled with my own desire.
I'm stalking my ego with my fingertips.
The floor creaks under the weight of lust and illness lights my path.
The walls closing...
Closing tightly around my spirit as a silent whisper plots my demise.
Love devours its young
And solitude walks across my breath and into my soul.

by Krystle Lynn

untitled

Oh idle hands so sad and dreary

Unaccompanied heart weak and weary

Recklessly abandoned, feelings cultivated

Meagerly alive, sedated

Robotic self, eyes dead

With nothing left to be said

Silent arguments with each other

Seventeen-year-old mother

A Sea Change

From Shakespeare's The Tempest, 1610:

ARIEL [sings]:
Full fathom five thy father lies;
Of his bones are coral made;
Those are pearls that were his eyes:
Nothing of him that doth fade
But doth suffer a sea-change
Into something rich and strange.
Sea-nymphs hourly ring his knell